beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
