It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
