I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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