on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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