The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Randomize
