Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
