Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
