Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Randomize
