I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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