So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
