Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
