My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
