Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
