Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
