i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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