happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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