i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Sorry my hands just texted you
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
