JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
