the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
