This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
