I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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