I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
