pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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