5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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