Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
