dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
