worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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