He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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