Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
