Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
