Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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