Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
