So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
she smelled like a LAN party
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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