do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
