i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Watching her eat just hurts me
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
