I'm lost and stupid without you.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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