I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
He better not be in your backpack
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Randomize
