4 words: hood of his car
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
