I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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