Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
May the power of my ass compel you!!
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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