The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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