The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
