At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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