My hand turned me down
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
