We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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