Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
