You're so nebulous sometimes
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
