Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
