Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
