Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
i came on her dog
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
